Public Speaking Without Panic
(Why “Imagine Them Naked” Is Terrible Advice)
There’s a legendary piece of public-speaking advice that keeps hanging on like a 1970s shag carpet:
“Just picture your audience naked.”
Let me be clear.
No.
Absolutely not.
Not only is the visual distracting, it’s terrifying, wildly unprofessional, and quite possibly a fast track to forgetting every word you planned to say.
If anything, imagining an entire room of naked strangers is a one-way ticket to a full mental shutdown. My brain wouldn’t calm down. It would file for emergency leave.
There is, fortunately, a better way to speak in public.
A way that doesn’t involve imaginary nudity or psychological distress.
A way that actually works.
It starts with speaking from your heart.
And it continues with being prepared.
Preparation: The Secret Ingredient No One Talks About
Before authenticity, before tone, before “finding your voice,” there’s one step that can’t be skipped:
Know your topic.
Really know it.
The fastest way to reduce stage fright is to stand on a foundation that won’t shift under your feet. When you understand the material, you’re not performing — you’re sharing.
Preparation builds confidence.
Confidence calms nerves.
And research gives you the credibility your audience deserves.
Public speaking isn’t a magic act. It’s informed communication.
The Day I Learned Fear and Purpose Can Coexist
My own relationship with public speaking changed abruptly — and very much without warning.
Lauren Price, the founder of Veteran Warriors, decided I was going to fill in for a missing speaker at a toxic exposure symposium. She didn’t ask. She didn’t negotiate. She simply announced, “You’re going up.”
Nothing dries your mouth faster than hearing those words when you weren’t mentally prepared, emotionally prepared, or even caffeinated enough to pretend you were.
But I knew the topic.
I knew the facts.
I knew the stakes.
And I knew why it mattered.
I was speaking only a few months after Jay’s death. Toxic exposure wasn’t abstract to me — it was the reason I was standing on that stage a widow.
So I told the truth.
I spoke clearly.
I spoke with emotion.
I even cried — something I absolutely hate doing, especially in public. But grief doesn’t follow presentation etiquette or timelines, and authenticity doesn’t always come neatly packaged.
I told the audience about Jay.
I told them why I was there.
I asked for their help to be the voice for warriors who were sick, dying, or already gone.
And you know what happened?
People listened.
That unscripted, unexpected, unpolished speech opened doors. I met with multiple elected officials. Conversations started. Momentum built. That moment of fear turned into a moment of purpose.
Not because I was fearless — I wasn’t.
Not because I was prepared to speak — I wasn’t.
But because I knew my subject and I spoke from my heart.
That combination is powerful.
Fear Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Ready
We assume good speakers don’t get nervous. That’s incorrect.
The pros get nervous too — they’ve just learned to walk through it.
Fear is normal.
Fear is biological.
Fear is the nervous system’s way of saying, “Hey, something important is happening!”
You don’t have to eliminate fear.
You just have to stop letting it run the show.
People Don’t Want Perfection — They Want Connection
Your audience isn’t looking for a flawless performance. They want you to:
be authentic
share truth
bring purpose
communicate clearly
People connect with sincerity more than perfect delivery. They care far more about your message than your nerves.
Public speaking isn’t about impressing people. It’s about reaching them.
Speak With Intention, Not Pretension
When you speak from a place of purpose:
your voice steadies
your message strengthens
your presence deepens
your audience remembers
Emotion, when grounded in truth, becomes a bridge. Thoughtful preparation becomes the backbone. And authenticity becomes the spark.
Those three forces, together, are worth more than any public-speaking trick you’ve ever heard.
Let Go of the Fear of Judgment
Here’s the secret no one tells you:
Most people in the audience are too busy thinking about their own lives to judge yours.
They’re wondering if they left a load of laundry in the washer or whether the meeting will run long. The intensity we imagine from the audience exists mostly in our heads.
What they do notice is honesty.
And heart.
And courage.
When you speak from all three, your message lands exactly where it needs to.
Confidence Comes From Doing, Not Imagining
You don’t become a strong speaker overnight. You build it.
Every speech, every meeting, every conversation in front of a group lays another brick in the foundation.
And with every step, the fear loosens its grip.
Confidence doesn’t arrive dramatically. It grows quietly.
Conclusion: Heart Over Performance
Public speaking doesn’t require tricks, theatrics, or imaginary scenarios involving undressed audiences.
It requires preparation, purpose, and heart.
Know your topic.
Stand in your truth.
Speak from a place of meaning.
Let your humanity show — even when emotion spills over.
Your voice is strongest when it’s grounded in what matters most.
And sometimes, all it takes is being pushed onto a stage before you feel ready to discover you were ready all along.
However, I do not think I am ready to testify before congress, yet… give me a few days prep time.
