Returning to the Workforce After Loss

The Resume Gap Nobody Mentions

There is a particular kind of silence that sits between two dates on a resume.

Hiring managers call it a “gap.”

Life calls it something else.

Because “Career pause due to catastrophic life event” is not currently listed under LinkedIn skills.

(Although frankly, it should be.)

The Timeline That Changed

For many military surviving spouses, employment history is already… creative.

Frequent relocations.
Short-term roles.
Interrupted career progression.
Caregiving seasons.

Then loss happens.

And suddenly the gap is not about PCS moves or childcare.

It is about:

• Hospital rooms
• Funeral arrangements
• Estate paperwork
• Trauma
• Survival

None of which convert neatly into bullet points.

What the Resume Does Not Show

Resumes capture:

• Job titles
• Certifications
• Dates

They do not capture:

• Learning to manage finances alone
• Navigating federal benefits systems
• Advocating across agencies
• Coordinating medical care
• Becoming the sole provider overnight

They definitely do not capture grief.

And yet grief is a full-time occupation.

The Interview Question

Eventually, someone asks:

“I see there’s a gap here. Can you explain that?”

You have options.

You can say:

“I experienced a personal loss.”

You can say:

“I took time to handle family matters.”

You can say:

“I was navigating a catastrophic life transition.”

What you cannot say, even if it is accurate, is:

“I was trying to hold my world together while the ground rearranged itself.”

Corporate America prefers tidy narratives.

Grief is not tidy.

The Invisible Skill Set

Here is the irony.

The same surviving spouse who worries about resume gaps may have developed:

• Advanced crisis management skills
• High-level navigation of bureaucratic systems
• Financial restructuring experience
• Public speaking ability
• Legislative literacy
• Project management under pressure

But none of those came with a supervisor evaluation.

There was no performance bonus for surviving.

No certificate for resilience.

Just continuation.

The Confidence Gap

Returning to work after loss is not just about employment.

It is about identity.

When your previous role included:

Spouse. Partner. Co-decision-maker.
And suddenly it does not.

Re-entering a workplace can feel like stepping into a room where everyone else received instructions you somehow missed.

Add unemployment into the mix.

Add financial pressure.

Add caregiving for an aging parent.

And the gap starts to feel less like a blank space and more like a spotlight.

The Humor We Use

Sometimes the only way to answer the resume question without unraveling is humor.

“Yes, I took some time off for a small life event.”

“Brief detour due to existential upheaval.”

“Independent study in resilience.”

We laugh because the alternative is explaining the unexplainable in a 30-minute screening call.

What Employers Should Understand

Gaps do not equal weakness.

Sometimes they equal:

• Endurance
• Maturity
• Perspective
• Adaptability

Military surviving spouses are not behind.

They are seasoned.

We have navigated complexity most workplaces will never experience.

The gap is not empty.

It is full.

The Real Conversation

If you are returning to the workforce after loss, here is the truth:

You are not starting over.

You are starting differently.

You carry experience that does not fit cleanly on a resume but shapes how you work.

And if an employer cannot see the strength in that, they may not be the right environment for the next chapter.

Because surviving is not a liability.

It is proof of capacity.

Even if LinkedIn has not created the endorsement button yet.