6+ Years of WTF

It’s been more than six years of “What. The. Actual.” — starting with a virus that decided to upend the planet just as I was finally beginning to stand on my own two feet again.

Jay died on October 31, 2018. For months after, I existed in the kind of fog that only grief can create — where days blend, sleep doesn’t heal, and survival is the only goal. When I finally made it home to Texas on June 19, 2019, I thought I was on the slow, shaky path toward my “new normal.”

Then, in 2020, the world collectively broke.

Since then, it’s been one setback after another — financial, emotional, societal — a never-ending obstacle course of chaos. I’ve spent the past six years scraping by, stretching every dollar, and watching my basic expenses — bills, groceries, taxes, insurance, property costs — all double while my energy and hope were halved. Every time I started to get ahead, another “historic event” showed up like an uninvited houseguest who eats the good snacks and doesn’t leave.

And yet, here I am. Still standing. Still pushing. Still trying to do some good.

I’ve poured what little I have — time, grit, caffeine, and heartbreak — into advocacy, into helping other veterans’ families, and into trying to fix systems that have been broken longer than most of our elected officials have been in office. I know I’ve made a difference. But I also know I could do so much more if I had some backing and just a little breathing room.

And can we please retire the phrase “We’re living in unprecedented times”?
We’ve been “unprecedented” since 2020 — at this point, it’s the new normal. Maybe instead of pretending to be surprised every time the world catches fire, we should focus on rebuilding better firewalls — in our systems, our communities, and our souls.

Until then, I’ll keep going.
Free-range, slightly feral, running on stubbornness and purpose.