The Job Market’s Special Circle of Hell
There should be a special level of hell reserved for the people who dream up modern job postings and titles. Somewhere between Dante’s Inferno and a LinkedIn recruiter’s inbox, you’ll find the circle where words like advocate, strategist, and associate are thrown around like confetti—none of them meaning what you think they mean.
Take, for example, the enticingly noble title of “Customer Advocate.” Sounds important, right? Like someone who helps people navigate a complicated system, maybe even fights for consumer rights. Nope. Nine times out of ten, it’s just a cashier job dressed up in business casual buzzwords. A glorified way of saying, “You’ll be scanning items and telling people the self-checkout is open.”
And then there are the scams—the “career coaching” pitches disguised as opportunities. You’ve probably seen them: Send us your money, and we’ll teach you how to land your dream job. Translation: Pay us to give you generic advice you could have Googled at 2 a.m. while eating leftover pizza.
The real kicker, though, is the constant parade of “We’re hiring!” announcements. Companies loudly proclaim they want people—desperately! urgently!—yet when you apply, it’s like playing roulette with an AI filter that demands you match every bullet point exactly. Never mind transferable skills, experience, or even enthusiasm. If you don’t fit the digital mold to perfection, you’re out. Rejected before a human eye even sees your name.
It’s no wonder unemployment feels like an endless uphill battle. The problem isn’t laziness or lack of ambition—it’s a hiring system designed to confuse and exhaust people. Job titles get dressed up in corporate nonsense that doesn’t match the work, scams circle like vultures, and AI filters kick out qualified humans before a real person even sees their name. The result? A system that punishes effort instead of rewarding it. Until companies start valuing people over algorithms and honesty over buzzwords, the job market will keep on feeling like its own special circle of hell.
